Being Nice

Blah blah... Haven't written in a long time, life is good, loving Colorado, snowboarding, visitors, blah.

I've been thinking about being nice and how people (myself included) are always so suspicious of it. For instance... today I brought a dozen cupcakes in for my team at work. The initial response from most people was "what's the occasion?" which is to say, "why are you being nice?" After the 11th time of saying just because, I was out of cupcakes. One person out of 12 said, "thanks. That was nice of you," before grilling me on my motivations and suspecting me of something sinister. I appreciated that.

In another unprovoked act of kindness, I sent a friend a very small Edible Arrangement. There was a bit of a mixup because I got it sent to her house and there was no one home (obviously because it was the middle of the day) so the delivery guy called her and delivered it to her work— so she knew it was coming before it got to her. That being said, she didn't actually thank me until she received it but that didn't stop her from meanwhile asking me why I sent it. Again, I responded, 'just because' and said I thought she'd appreciate it. She clearly did.

Fast forward to post nap time that evening. The blinky light on my phone alerted me to a new email which happened to be from my EA recipient. "Thanks again...why did you send it?"

A little irked (probably because I had just woken up) I (hopefully) kindly responded that it was just because and there was no ulterior motive. In her defense, the last time we saw each other, we had a personal, and some might say awkward, exchange in which I said if I didn't live on the other side of the country, I would be interested in pursuing a relationship. But I mean come on! I DO live on the other side of the country, I don't want ANY relationship right now, and sending chocolate covered fruit is not a profession of my undying love! I also don't really think these two things linked as we've talked nearly every day since that night in January with absolutely no awkwardness very little mention of that last in person meeting, and of our mutual love for both chocolate and fruit.

Now admittedly, I may not be the best at understanding or realizing when things I do appear to have romantic connotations, but given the fact that I'm 2000 miles away from the recipient, I thought I was safe from this misunderstanding. Apparently not.

But anyway... back to the topic at hand.

Why is it that people are so suspicious of niceness? Is it because it is so seldomly seen in this world? Perhaps it is a subconscious jealousy that they themselves are not being so benevolent. More likely than that, I think, could it be that when most people do nice things, they actually DO have ulterior motives which in turn make them suspicious of other people's niceties? I don't know the answer and can only speculate, but honestly, it's neither here nor there. The fact is this. I am nice because being nice is the right way to be. I am good because being good is, in itself, inherently good and right. I don't donate to charity to get tax breaks (though it is a perk), I don't volunteer so people take notice, and I'm certainly not the way I am because of anything other than the simple fact that I believe it is the right way to be. It just is. If the world would realize and adopt the inherent goodness that I believe is so clearly visible and easily attainable, wouldn't people be so much happier? It's one of the first lessons we learn in life. Be nice.

j