New Place and Pair Bonding

It's been a while internet. Last time I posted I was not a HOMEOWNER. This time, I most certainly am and let me tell you something, it's been a helluva ride already.

I closed on a three story townhome on Jan 14, 2015. It's got 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, two living rooms, a front and back patio, and a detached one car garage. It's humungo to the point where I still don't have any furniture on the bottom floor, haha. I bought something this big for two reasons. First of all, the price per square foot for real estate in Colorado is astronomically low, at least in comparison to CT. It's a matter of public record so i don't mind telling you that I paid $179,000 for 1916 sqft which translates to a mere $93.42 per sqft. By comparison, some friends in CT bought 1491 sqft for $270,000 ($181.08/sqft). Almost DOUBLE for less space! As far as cost of living is concerned, you should stop what you're doing and move to Colorado. It won't be as easy to find a single family home as the market for those is hot hot hot, but what you do find will still be cheaper than the northeast.

Secondly, before I bought, everyone told me to buy something that I could grow into. At the time I was looking, I was about to turn thirty and was dating a great girl. The advice, coupled with those two other factors got me thinking about settling down, starting a family, and making sure that the space I was about to buy would be able to accommodate the potential increase in family size that could be a real possibility in the next five-ish years.

Turns out that the girl and I didn't work out, but that's a completely seperate blog post... The long to short of it is that I didn't feel the same way about her as she felt towards me, and we had fundamentally different views on certain big picture ideals that I felt neither of us should have to compromise. We only dated for six months and I wanted to end it before marriage was the expectation, both from her and from everyone else in our lives. She's a great person and I wish her the best in life and hope that in time, we can be friends.

But this whole scenario leads me to the second major topic of this post. Pair bonding. Relationships.

Before I moved to Colorado in 2013, I was very happy being single. I did things because I wanted to do things and because they were fun. I did things for me. I had a bevy of close friends to experience things with, but i was equally happy to do things alone. I will fully admit that I've always been and probably always will be a romantic, but I was happier to not be tied down with a relationship. And I think in itself, that drives at my point. In the past, a relationship was a burden. Something that you carry with you because of some sort of need for another person. It was a co-dependancy. I didn't want that. I've never wanted that. I still don't want that. But the change has come in the bevy of friends department. Whereas I have friends here in CO, they're not the same kind of friendships that I had in CT. To be sure, every close friendship that I had in CT was in itself, just like a typical romantic relationship. Each was cultivated over time with ups, downs, and all arounds.  There was a history with each person that was something special and was not- could not be replicated with the next person. Indeed I am very lucky to have that in my life.

That being said though. I don't have that here in Colorado. There aren't years of history between my friends and me because at this point in all of our lives, we all have that history with other people. That's not to say that we're not building relationships... It's just that at this point, the relationships that I'm building with others are for the most part, not as deeply rooted. I fully acknowledge and take some responsibility for not putting in the effort to build the deeper kind of relationships, but neither are others. People already have husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, and everything else that comes from a lifetime of living. Which leads me back to pair bonding...

Most people don't have the intricate and deep network of multiple friends that I've built over the course of my life. People have people, but I fully understand and respect how lucky I am. The search for a pair bond is the search for what I've had throughout my teens and twenties. It's the search for one other person to share things with. It's the search for one other person to experience things with. It's the search to interact with someone on a level deeper than how you connect to all the other great people in your life. We're looking for one other person to really live with. I'm glad that I left CT because now that I'm "alone" here in CO, I'm ready to try and find that one person.

Till next time, internet.

j

2 Weeks of Guests

So the last couple weeks have been chock full of fun and adventure.  I've had a ton of visitors, had some positive and potentially promising news at work, started seeing a wonderfully fun girl, and in general, I've just been having an awesome time with life.  The 50 states thing is kind of back burnered for now because the remaining states are mostly all super boring.  I am going to try to get to Alaska and Hawaii before March which will bring me down to 6 remaining states.  As for the rest of them, I'll get there when I get there. Or maybe never. I'm fine with that too. :)

So visitors...

Many of my ultimate friends from CT/NY came to Denver for the Colorado Cup (a big tournament that is important for rankings for the club series).  The tournament was all well and good to watch, but the better part was getting to hang out with people I haven't seen since New Years.  A few of us went on an awesome hike at Brainard lake which is literally in the middle of no where. We were supposed to meet up with some other friends, but when we got to the base, we realized there was absolutely no cell reception.  So the four of us hiked along for a couple hours and took a ton of great shots.  Like this one:

CO is such a beautiful place. :)

Royal Gorge - Arkansas River, CO

View from Mount Evans

When frisbee people left, I had less than 24 hours to reset the apartment for my college roommates who came out for our annual white water rafting trip.  This trip was a very different than a lot of the trips we've been on thus far, but ultimately, a blast. The river was a lot more narrow than typical which makes for a much more technical run.  It's a lot of jutting between rocks and through white water and less sweeping from bank to bank across the river and through the rapids.   Other than that, we went to breweries and up
Mount Evans (peak elevation ~14,200').  We didn't make it up to the top because of a hail storm that we got caught in, but the views along the way were still pretty epic as you can see.

The last two things on this post will be quick...hang in there - almost done!

Work has been good because I was recently called into a meeting in which my boss said to me (and a few other people) that we have been noticed by HER BOSS for our exceptional work and he wants to meet us in order to get a sense of who we are.  So I have a presentation on why I'm so awesome in about 20 minutes.  I'm good at those... :)

Kristine is amazing and silly and a child trapped in an adult's life, just like me. She's a science nerd (works as a pathologist in a hospital detecting cancer on biopsy samples) and loves all the prerequisite things for my affections (e.g old school video games, performing arts (she danced ballet), games, superheroes, etc). She came with us to Mt Evans.  Here's a pic.

I am happy

~j

p.s more pics HERE

Land of Enchantment

Greetings from the land of enchantment, Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I took a little road trip this weekend just to get away.  I started the five and a half hour drive this morning around 9am and reached this sign about three hours later.  Santa Fe was a 2.5 hour hop, skip and jump beyond. As I was driving, I had a lot of thoughts.

First off, I was thinking about the proverbial journey of life. The literal expedition that I set out on this morning made me think a lot about what is more important; is it the journey, or the destination?  I will guess that many people have different answers to that, but for me, it's definitely the journey.  I'm happy traveling.  I'm happy in a car, driving to a new, unexplored location.  I wonder about the many mysteries that the destination holds and revel in all the goings on of getting there.  As I reflect on other trips of my life, I realize this has always been the case.  For instance... the first time I drove cross country, many of the destinations were quite boring.  Take the drive from the Mall of America to Mount Rushmore.  Leaving Minnesota, we got caught in a torrential rain storm and didn't think we'd make it to Rapid City, SD as we had originally intended. We therefore canceled our hotel room in Rapid City, but chose to keep driving, to get as close to it as we could.  The drive was an experience I will never forget. It was one of the first times I had driven in a rainstorm with rains so thick that I couldn't see the front of the car.  There was raucous laughter when one of my companions had to pee so bad (probably a combination of the rain and me, the driver, refusing to stop in it) that she got out of the car, peed on the side of the road, and got back in soaked to the bone, less than 30 seconds later.  And then, ultimately, we made it to Rapid City and tried to get our hotel room back only to find out that it had been sold to someone else.  The only room available at that late hour was the deluxe love suite of a Raddison several miles back.  It had two floors, a heart shaped hot tub, and an open shower.  It was not cheap. Haha... The next morning, after having gotten plenty of sleep for me, I woke everyone up a 8am and made them drive the rest of the way to see the mountain of Presidents.  When we got there, all we could do was say, "Yup. There it is. Take a picture.  Okay got it. Now what?"  It's not that it was a let down...it was just... not nearly as exciting as our pilgrimage from Minnesota.

Cathedral Basilica of St Francis]

I feel very similarly about Santa Fe.  I visited the Chuck Jones gallery today (which I really liked) as well as a few other galleries, an art show, Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, and a creperie. Woo.  On the drive here, I listened to awesome music, thought about many things (including what I'm writing here), planned future adventures (Garden of the Gods, Pikes Peak, Sand Surfing at Sand Dunes National Park), and all in all, felt a joy I haven't felt since departing from CT nine months ago.  Don't get me wrong...I liked all the things I did in Santa Fe today but simply put, it did not elicit the same blissful satisfaction as just getting up and going.  Apparently, I'm the type of person that likes to go just for the sake of going.  Again, I can see how people would like the destinations more...but that's me.  I want to DO things.  I want to GO places. I want to LIVE because living is a thing worth doing.  This is something that I think a lot of people don't get, and furthermore, don't do.  Which leads me to my second point...

I wonder how strange I am for wanting this lifestyle. 

When I was explaining to my coworkers on Friday about how I was driving 5.5 hours just for the sake of doing it, and with no clear motivation for doing so, they looked at me funny.  Honestly, probably rightfully so. Haha. 

On the way down here, I thought about online dating and writing a profile about myself.  It's not that I want to be dating someone (quite the opposite actually) but it seems the natural thing for a man of my age to be doing.  In fact, at 29, some would say that I should probably be in a relatively serious relationship that will ultimately turn into a lifelong commitment to another person.  Is it strange that I have no desire for that, right now? I mean I want to get married some day but right now, i'm more focused on living my life for me and not being saddled with another person, and/or a ton of new responsibilities.  It's kind of selfish, I know...but what's wrong with that?  Who says I can't do things on my own for now?  To them, I say, why not?  As a fully fledged adult, I will do what I like, when I like, with whomever I like.  For better or for worse, right now, I want to do things on my own.  Is that really such a bad thing?  Do I even care if that's such a bad thing? No.

I have lots of friends and a great deal of people that I love, and that love me.  With the comfort of that in mind, I'm going to live my life.

Thanks,

j

Being Nice

Blah blah... Haven't written in a long time, life is good, loving Colorado, snowboarding, visitors, blah.

I've been thinking about being nice and how people (myself included) are always so suspicious of it. For instance... today I brought a dozen cupcakes in for my team at work. The initial response from most people was "what's the occasion?" which is to say, "why are you being nice?" After the 11th time of saying just because, I was out of cupcakes. One person out of 12 said, "thanks. That was nice of you," before grilling me on my motivations and suspecting me of something sinister. I appreciated that.

In another unprovoked act of kindness, I sent a friend a very small Edible Arrangement. There was a bit of a mixup because I got it sent to her house and there was no one home (obviously because it was the middle of the day) so the delivery guy called her and delivered it to her work— so she knew it was coming before it got to her. That being said, she didn't actually thank me until she received it but that didn't stop her from meanwhile asking me why I sent it. Again, I responded, 'just because' and said I thought she'd appreciate it. She clearly did.

Fast forward to post nap time that evening. The blinky light on my phone alerted me to a new email which happened to be from my EA recipient. "Thanks again...why did you send it?"

A little irked (probably because I had just woken up) I (hopefully) kindly responded that it was just because and there was no ulterior motive. In her defense, the last time we saw each other, we had a personal, and some might say awkward, exchange in which I said if I didn't live on the other side of the country, I would be interested in pursuing a relationship. But I mean come on! I DO live on the other side of the country, I don't want ANY relationship right now, and sending chocolate covered fruit is not a profession of my undying love! I also don't really think these two things linked as we've talked nearly every day since that night in January with absolutely no awkwardness very little mention of that last in person meeting, and of our mutual love for both chocolate and fruit.

Now admittedly, I may not be the best at understanding or realizing when things I do appear to have romantic connotations, but given the fact that I'm 2000 miles away from the recipient, I thought I was safe from this misunderstanding. Apparently not.

But anyway... back to the topic at hand.

Why is it that people are so suspicious of niceness? Is it because it is so seldomly seen in this world? Perhaps it is a subconscious jealousy that they themselves are not being so benevolent. More likely than that, I think, could it be that when most people do nice things, they actually DO have ulterior motives which in turn make them suspicious of other people's niceties? I don't know the answer and can only speculate, but honestly, it's neither here nor there. The fact is this. I am nice because being nice is the right way to be. I am good because being good is, in itself, inherently good and right. I don't donate to charity to get tax breaks (though it is a perk), I don't volunteer so people take notice, and I'm certainly not the way I am because of anything other than the simple fact that I believe it is the right way to be. It just is. If the world would realize and adopt the inherent goodness that I believe is so clearly visible and easily attainable, wouldn't people be so much happier? It's one of the first lessons we learn in life. Be nice.

j

Disney!

So this past weekend I flew to Orlando, FL to meet up with John, Lena, and Dee Palmer, Ryan West, his GF Clover, Ferri and PTK.  Overall it was pretty great. We went to Universal Studios & the newer Harry Potter world on Friday.  I was thoroughly impressed with the scenery and how good the Hpot stuff actually was.  At night we went to Citywalk which is just a bunch of bars right outside universal where I downed way too many margaritas in way too short of a time.  Then we went to another bar where it was buy one get one hurricanes.  Needless to say, I was in pretty high spirits after it all.  Thank goodness for high altitude beer training. Haha

Saturday was Magic Kingdom and it was everything I wanted it to be.  We went on rides, saw characters, went to shows.  It was absolutely incredible.  It's exactly what I wanted my Disney experience to be.  The best two rides at MK were Space Mountain and the Laugh Floor (which is Monsters Inc themed).  Space Mountain is a roller coaster in the mostly dark and the Laugh Floor was an interactive, animated, comedy show that was absolutely hilarious.  We also got giant Pork shanks at the new Gaston's tavern.  I have to say...probably the best pork shank i've ever had.

Sunday we went to Epcot and drank around the world at their countries of the world.  Normally there are 11 countries but because the food and wine festival, there were more than double that many.  A lot of debauchery ensued.  Before all that though, we went on two of the best rides of the weekend.  The new and improved test track is INCREDIBLE.  John and I designed a car and the ride was based on the specs of the car we built.  Needless to say our car DOMINATED in the amount of power it had and was the highest scoring car amongst our friends.  Plus...it looked badass.  Also, a few years ago, Epcot brought back Captain EO.  It's a michael jackson themed 3D sci fi adventure movie that any true MJ fan would love.  Seriously...it was like they made that ride for me. haha

Monday was a nice relaxing day at Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM).  Rockin Rollercoaster was cool (another mostly in the dark coaster) and Star Tours, the star wars themed ride, had the best 3d of the weekend. Hollywood studios was a good last day because by then, I was kind of rided-out.

It was nice to see people from the east coast and go on vacation.  Now it's back to the grind.

Some pictures HERE and on Dee's facebook page.

Till next time,

j

14,232'

Happy Sunday all. Hope everyone had a good week.

Let's start with the boring stuff. FIrst of all, work has been better.  I maneuvered myself into a position where I do much more programming than mind numbing data analysis.  Thank god for that. Also, as expected, paychecks are nice.

Okay. Enough of that.  On to the good stuff.

Ronnie, my sophomore year college roommate came to visit on Wednesday. I pointed him the direction of a lot of great hiking while I was at work, and then afterwards, we rocked the town. :-p  Okay not really.  Really what we did was watch a lot Breaking Bad and drink a lot of beer. Haha.

Avery brewing company and their tasting room is pretty awesome. They've got a bunch of different kinds of beers including a pretty interesting sour apple beer.  Apparently sour beers are the next big thing.  I find them...I don't know...sour. haha.  If you like that, then try them out.  A bunch of craft breweries have them now and some of them are not bad.  Not really my thing yet, but to each their own.

We also went to Mount Evans which has the highest paved road in the country.  The summit is, you guessed it, at 14,232 feet above sea level.  To get to it, you start at the base (which is at a measly 7,300 feet) and drive up switchback after switchback to the summit.  There are a couple stops along the way for pictures, but mostly, it's just narrow winding roads with no guard rails and an ever increasing drop off that doesn't fail to put the fear of mortality into you.

I hiked a bit at about 12,000 feet (which is also the height from which I sky dived back in CT) and let me tell you, that thin air makes you TIRED.  I only did about a half mile and i was more than just a little winded. Haha.

By the time we got up to 14k, you could feel the effects of the thinner air.  I was a little light headed and the muscles were definitely working hard.  The only way to get to the actual top is to park at about 13.7k and hike up the rest of the way.  I'll tell you what though, it's completely worth it.  The views were incredible.

Check out all the pictures HERE

j

One week down, 51 to go

So I finished my first week of work this week and I can say with utmost certainty that it is by far the absolute most boring job I've ever done in my entire life.  I'm in the data analysis field as a "business analyst."  Roughly what that means is that I extract information from a spreadsheet, plug it into a plethora of different programs, then put some new information into the spreadsheet. It is so so so so so repetitive... I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it another 51 weeks to fulfill my contract.

On the plus side of the job-- flex hours. I can go in anywhere from 6-9am and be done 8 hours after that. THat means I can be done as early as 2pm which gives me the rest of the afternoon to do whatever. I've been going in between 7 and 7:30 and getting out between 3 and 3:30.  Pretty good I'd say.  The other nice thing about it is that it's not a job that I take home with me. After I leave the campus, I don't have to think about it until I return for another mind numbing session the next day.

Also in the positive column is going to be income.  It's nice to not be burning through savings with no sort of replenishment. First paycheck is next Friday.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand....what else. The people are nice. One lives right down the street from me so we'll start carpooling which'll save money. So yeah...trying to stay positive. haha

In other, much more exciting, news, Bent was here last week and half of this week.  It was great to host a bunch of people and do stuff before work started, and then, after work.  We did some good hiking at Eldorado State Park, went to brew pubs and different kinds of restaurants, and I watched them play a lot of the tournament until it got rained out.  It was nice to see some of my favorite ladies and make some new friends. :)  Kept me sane. Haha.  Don't know what I'm going to do next week...  Check out some of the pictures of the hike on my google+ page HERE.  Till next time,

j