Life Goals

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about legacy. We were talking about what you would leave behind after your life and what kind of lasting impact you would have. I posited that given enough time, no one would be remembered.  A bleak outlook, I know, but think about it. Here's a thought experiment.  Come up with a list of the top 100 most influential people of ALL TIME. Good people, and bad people alike can fill this list.  You've obviously got your religious icons (Jesus, Buddha, etc.), your great thinkers (Aristotle, Plato etc.), some great warriors, dictators, and politicians (Hitler, Lincoln, whomever), people in other categories... whatever. Try to come up with 100.

Got it..?

How long did that take you?  Honestly, I even had a hard time coming up with categories and people to put in them.  Could you even finish? How many people were alive within the last 100 years? How many people lived over 1000 years ago? Do you really think there was no one who is as influential to human history more than 2000 years ago? What about the caveman who invented fire? What was his or her name? Even if you were able to come up with a list of 100, a quick google search says that there have been 108,470,690,115 to have ever lived (website). Your list is .00000009% of our species' population.

Granted, I'm not a historian and don't think about things like this much. Also, you could argue that it's not the person's name that is important-- it's their work/idea/invention/ whatever... but I think given enough time, EVERYONE will be forgotten on an individual level.  No one knows WHO invented the wheel, just that it was invented (around 3500 BCE according to google). 

So personal legacy is bogus.  It's a pipe dream. You will eventually be forgotten.  

:) And that's okay. :)

But then, what is there to strive for? Why bother getting out of bed every day? Well...I would imagine there are some people who strive to be in that .00000009%.  That's great. There needs to be. But I am not one of those individuals.

What I want in my life is to make a difference to individuals. I want to help someone NOW. When I die, I want people to say, "Jesse affected me in [this way]." After that, it doesn't matter. If I can make a significant difference in one person's life, I will have been successful. 

I like to think that I have made peoples' lives better in small ways.  And that's why I get up every morning. 

j

Regret

I don't regret much in my life. Truth be told, I can only think of one specific regret and oddly, it isn't even that bad. The quick story is that one time I was supposed to be the designated driver but got sufficiently drunk and could not hold up my end of the bargain. Someone else had to drive us all home that night. I regret this because I feel like I let my friends down (they probably don't remember that instance), and worse than that, I let myself down. I hold myself to a very high standard and usually meet it. Letting myself down is why I have that one regret.

Here's the thing though. Just because I don't have many regrets, it doesn't mean everything in my life is perfect and/or has gone swimmingly. I, like everyone, have made mistakes. There are many things I wish I could go back and do over, or say more clearly, or even have go down in a different way. But the thing is, I don't regret those times. I wouldn't ACTUALLY go back and change those things. I think all of the "regrettable" times I've had in my life aren't actually regrets because they have led me to be who I am and have led me to where I am today. I've learned from all of those experiences and can (and hopefully have) become better because of them. The designated driver incident was a time I let myself down, and didn't learn anything. I knew what I was doing, knew that I shouldn't order another drink, but did anyway. That's why I regret that incident.

But honestly, despite the title of this post, my regrets (or lack there of) are not why I'm writing tonight. I'm writing because of a relatively recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about a memory I had and how I wish I had done something as I was leaving that day. Her response was, "that wouldn't change anything [now]." But what she didn't understand is that it's not about changing something. For me, it's about seizing the opportunity and not leaving potential experiences out there and unexperienced. It's not about how things would be different today based on a small change from months or years ago, it's about wouldn't it have been great then if I or we had done that thing.

True or untrue, I think many people regret things that they think if they changed, their current situation would be somehow better or different. As I am not unhappy with my current situation, I don't look back and think about what I could have changed to make now better. This is now, now. Everything that is happening now is happening now. We passed then just now. So live for now.

Sorry... I got thrown off by a particularly relevant Spaceballs quote. But again... My life isn't perfect. I have problems and I will be the first to admit and acknowledge my mistakes. But it's okay. I will be okay. Life will be okay. And the sun will both rise and set tomorrow.

Don't look back and wonder, "what if I had changed things?" Be grateful for now and what you do have. Remember the hard times and grow beyond them.

This whole post is terribly cliche and so I will end with another cliche movie quote:

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."

j